Saturday October 25th 2014

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Get Your Internets Off My Lawn!

"That we live in curious times is easy for me to say from the vantage point of my early thirties. There is much I don't understand in this world, particularly why people would have any interest in [...]

The Social Shitwork

Brice couldn't believe what he was seeing on his phone. This certainly wasn't the first corn-based shitpic he'd ever seen, but Skylar had knocked it out of the park. This resembled the contents of an [...]

The Plus One

It was the usual boring gala, this time for charity benefitting the impoverished cataractous  Jewish children of the world, Krystal Klear Kids. It was the kind of event that happens incessantly in [...]

Ode to S.F.

Danse Macabre with the faggots in San Francisco. A twisted night of boozing and grabbing asses as they did coke and clawed to a greater understanding and purpose. The streets were narrow and full of [...]

The Interview

It was time to play a game that I wasn't particularly fond of but was told by reliable sources that I should be. It was earlier than I'd gotten up in a while. Out of current routine, I put on a suit [...]

The Good Stink in BH

There are few places more wretched and soulless in the world than Beverly Hills, Ca. Mecca for all the money-flushed bottom feedersofevery stripe and creed, Beverly Hills has always attracted the [...]

A Simple Request From A Weary Man

I came to what could be called a traveler And far be it for I to diminish a man's dreams He called to me And I saw a glimmer in his tired rheumy eyes Of a life of harsh visions His [...]

A Bad Day At The Office

It was one of those in-between days, in that wasn't unbearably hot but had a filmy grime quality that makes you feel like you need a shower. It's hard to get motivated in times like these and really [...]

It’s Okay, the Audience is Deaf

In these days when most art is as forgettable As most music And promoting oneself takes equally little talent I wonder about those that claim inspiration From their group of peers The [...]

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Featured Posts

  • Got Your Fig and Olive Right Here
    After five years I finally came into a bit of money, and shocked by this forgotten feeling, I had absolutely no idea what I should do with it. So, not being particularly interested in much of anything, I chose to do something nice for my long suffering gal and took her out to a fancy dinner. Something as seemingly simple as this proved to be a bit of a problem right from the start, as I had little idea of a good place to eat. To be fair, I eat out at restaurants somewhat often, but  usually in the $15-$20 range. This [...]


  • Good Morning
    Watching the morning news I see another kid killed himself dead For being queer And listening to queer music and doing queer things Cyber-bullied they say. So I posit to the slack-jawed Bigoted masses Spit glistening on their red lips: Whether spouting from the safety of a dark room Or hiding behind your extreme facade And likely closeted friends Dull eyes staring out at the world I ask What exactly made you so afraid Of one less male To compete with?








  • The Titans of Kentucky Straight Bourbon
    I would consider myself somewhat of a connoisseur of fine Kentucky Straight Bourbon. I have been partaking of it much longer than this so called current “craze” you see taking place. There are even many smaller companies making craft bourbons, many of which are very good. That aside, this is the guide for those that want to drink some good shit and wake up not remembering a god damned thing. Ancient Age - 5/ 5 stars What can you say about Ancient Age. This heavenly nectar from Buffalo Trace distillers is probably the cheapest Kentucky Straight Bourbon you can find, [...]


  • CHANGES
    Sometimes you think some topics are Buried 6 foot under forever And as so much they are But sometimes the best or worst things Will resurface When, or if, they resurface Their mindsets, their perceptions; Are theirs. Period Falling back in like a waterfall Hands out, free fall Letting emotion fall down can be A fatal mistake (arms in or out?) For what I feel, surely they do not feel Easily cold they are which is OK One may ask: Continue or not? As, I don’t want more What I have is just fine But I don’t want to allow [...]
  • Forward Thinking
    Bitches get treated like bitches But always want to be treated like women Women get treated like women But always want to be treated like bitches Bastards get treated like bastards But they think they are men Men get treated like men But they think they are bastards I try to ring a drip of humanity, Knuckles white with passion, Out of a proverbial washcloth No signs of moisture The last vulture came Hundreds of years ago And drank Gods last tear That eked its way out Of this dusty wash cloth Now in this desert of humanity Exists, only [...]
  • Devaluation
    As I sit in my desk At community college Once again later in age I never thought I would be “That guy” If you have ever Attended a community college You know whom I speak of Sitting there, Waiting for instruction I over hear a conversation A cute 19 year old… “Ohy mhuy gawd, burning man Was so fawking insane, it was Craaaazy” No wonder the founder of that Event Went And burnt down the burning man Prematurely Ejaculations, As I sat there in my human sexuality class; We are about to talk about I wonder Did, “that guy” Hear [...]


  • Examining the Sacred Geometry of 9/11
    Special report filed by our New York correspondent: Mark Harrison Using various images of the horrific aftermath of 9/11/2001, I have devoted the greater part of the last decade into reading the sacred geometry of 9-11. Many conclusions may be up for debate about what follows, but the overall message is as concrete as the middle of The Hoover Dam. First and foremost, I am a leading expert in the field of sacred geometry. My experiences in visual-spatial geometrical meditation to interpret the meanings of the sacred geometry turned up some very shocking results about the uncertainty of the future. [...]


  • Rip Off
    Rich kids of the world, unite and take over Rich kids of the world, hand it over, hand it over, hand it over Learned to love money and pretend I was OK Now, today, tomorrow, and always My only weakness is my dads ATM But last night the Kardashians and Jersey Shore was all I saw on MTV Rich kids of the world, unite and take over Rich kids of the world, hand it over, hand it over, hand it over A smug look at the real, makes me feel good inside Only for a short time, knowing I’m propped [...]

  • 2:08 AM
    I walked by drunken swagger Staggering On my way into “Hot Rods” A local gay restaurant I usually get their breakfast sandwich Bacon AND sausage On the way out I saw some young travelers Two crusty punks We talked about politics Wars Oppression Hate The rich, the poor They seemed OK The girl casually told me “I am gonna go get an abortion tomorrow” As if it was routine I asked them if they wanted to come; Stay in my small studio They said sure She wanted to take a shower So she would be, Well, Presentable for her abortion, [...]


  • teen14.jpg
  • Katzegeliebter
    I love coming home to you Whether you are lying there Or looking out the window waiting We talk; even though we really don’t You love me back Sometimes I rub your back And we always miss each other Sometimes I put on a movie Sometimes we watch Netflix I always make you dinner but I don’t mind that Usually I smother you with kisses Before bed Then, you usually jump Into your litter box and take a shit And lick your asshole Clean

  • The Inspiration Issue
    knowing I’m into poetry a friend gave me a copy of: Poets & Writers Magazine I flipped through the pages a nice looking magazine a real pro the fucking big time, but all I see are ads low residency MFAs blah, blah, blah an interview with a graphic designer more bullshit seems like this is made for the left liberal elite the hipster kid blindly listening to her dubstep doesn’t know an ounce about his pseudo-politics I flip through the pages all I see are ads more ads not a single Poem not one I’ll use the pages to clean [...]
  • Inspiration
    Pain and loss inspires stories of pain and loss Happiness inspires no creativity Strange experiences somehow never quite inspire Accomplishments inspire you to want more accomplishments Girlfriends and boyfriends inspire stagnancy Because of this The only lover a real artist must have is his craft One may even look at it this way: When extremely creative, going the real distance Staying up all night, manic Downing adderall to stay awake, He is doing the same as what people call “fucking” Except happy little couples go to the bathroom after Clean up, cuddle, make food, go to bed The artist critiques [...]
  • Sore Upper // Poem
    Sometimes my upper body is so sore I then wonder whats going on I think I think Did I get in a bar fight And don’t remember? I think more And it always comes back the same Sex
  • Your Retro Career Melted
    I was on my way to the store with a plastic bag full of change The idea was to go to the CoinStar to get some cash to buy a sandwich As I went West on Santa Monica Blvd A hipster girl with big tits And thigh And ankle And calf tattoos Slid easily by astride a swank fixie with purple rims and useless handlebars This is why she didn’t use them As she used her long legs to pedal and steady the bike Whilst she texted on her iPhone Oblivious to the world This snapshot whizzed by an out [...]
  • Flowy // Poem
    The string prophecy is true Always seemingly connected Fleeting in and out Souls intersect in some odd fashion Unexplainably complicated But unexplainably simple Dreamlike Mean to each other at times Down for each other always Changed Changes still occurring Realization life is vast Realization of Profound respect Rage once had quickly Melts to smiles And stories Listening to Gucci Gucci, Fendi Fendi Laughing, Joking Will I see her again, I’m sure When, who knows
  • The Raccoon Dancer
    Editors note: Although this story is entirely true, some names have been changed to protect the innocent! Last night I became very inebriated; I had drunk red wine, Ancient Age brand whiskey, and a couple of IPAs. I had a nice good buzz going after I had spent the night hanging out at a couple dive bars with my friend and his girl, and a couple other people. The night hastily wrapped up right around 2. As my friend was getting text after text from his anxious girl waiting for his rod, I waved bye to him as I went [...]
  • Rock & Sand // Poem
    Little nineteen year old Maybe 20 Or 18 What Are you doing? Lost and Confused and Wandering Happily in love Joy time like division Not yet incensed with the Emotional breakdown Or real eyes That what you had Was in your mind depressed mode Depeche Mode new mode Your rock Was sand to her She was built on solid foundation To you Built on concrete To her Sand dune foundations You were willing to wager It all The whole time was Carnival Rides She Was along for the Ride How fun Up, down, around In, out, about The sand dunes [...]
  • There Goes The Neighborhood
    It used to be just the queers here And us We were the odd men out Queers amongst queers But they accepted us and things were good Then the people moved out And rents went down Aspiring actors and various other shit-bags moved in And took over Half naked girls appeared by the pool But this was somehow worse Now couples and groups of friends Scream and argue in the street About jobs And love And auditions I hear them through the window and I hate them Every day The sky is queer and gray at night I’m sure it’s [...]
  • My Bucket List*
    *Reality-based “fiction” Drink an ayahuasca and tonic. Throw a frozen GoGirl at someone’s head who’s wearing a “livestrong” bracelet. Foursome with hot disenfranchised former Soviet Bloc girls. Literally ride a tiger (under humane conditions of course). I refuse to think Ronnie James wasn’t on to something major. Free baited bears and help kill their keepers by pulling out their teeth and nails and making them fight dogs. Accurately define “Neohyperpostfuturism” and teach it at Harvard. Take a bullet (non-lethal/debilitating). Build a Mandroid and teach it to drive. Go semi-pro in the bumfighting circuit. Witness munging. Scuba up to an oceanside party wearing [...]
  • My Bucket List*
    *Complete Fiction Do some gay shit (Just to see if it’s all the hype) Do needle drugs, injecting into my penis vein Get raped, and collect SSI Walk in on two of my buddies’ dads butt-fucking Run a meth lab using child labor Buy a bride and resell her on the black market Buy dirty bomb materials on the black market Be a black market salesman Be part of a federal investigation Be a part of an electronic band that lip-syncs all their material Own an Island Make the island a sovereign nation Do that shit where you kidnap people [...]

  • RIP MOLLY
    1995 – 2011
  • Krappy Kouples
    If you have wandered over to my occasional rant-articles from time to time and are here again, congratulations. Now ask yourselves; do I have a boyfriend/girlfriend? If so, this article may offend you, or it might do quite the opposite. You may pat yourself on your back and say to yourself “wow, I have a healthy and thriving relationship!” Let’s get to the meat of it. My last relationship sucked really badly. I mean it sucked beyond a Dyson on crack rocks. Granted I’m in no way perfect, it by no means justified the nasty things I endured. My judgment [...]

  • An Ode to Shark Eyes
    You(re) fake smile And your dead eyes Look right through me They always did I saw that God forsaken Excuse for a soul No soul Gotta go on a search But until then Keep smiling that Fake smile It’s painfully obvious Unless your fucking that person You want to believe that fake Smile But deep down A fake smile Is a fake smile And it looks right through people And through the walls And out into the sidewalk And falls into the gutter That fake smile The gutter sweeper comes by Instead of raking it up in its load It [...]
  • Energy, Governments, & Noam Chomsky
    By Michael Jones Governments ignore externalities of corporations, this is the way Washington (and global economy) works, politics, lobbyists, etc. The modern juggernaut of a corporation has to flip profits at amazing rates and will let nothing get in its path, including the government. This has become the rule, not the exception. If governments would pay attention to, and require all businesses to take care of any externalities which are negative, and caused by corporations we might find ourselves in a much better place. An externality is anything that occurs as an unintended consequence; here we are talking about them [...]
  • A Little Different
    As we staggered out The restaurant At 2:30 AM I asked my friend If these two girls I met Could come over to his pad He said, “Sure” We swung by their car They happened to have Champagne So with that bottle we headed back We smoked a J And split to my house a few Blocks over They started making out I dove in Clothes came off Fingers were penetrating Girls were moaning I got handed a magnum Not a gun Put it on I woke up two hours later With two blondes next to me That was nice [...]

  • The Box Epidemic
    I woke up one day to realize that I had been in a coma for 15 years. The doctors told me it was a medical mystery that I had survived and had awakened. After a couple weeks of intensive therapy I left the hospital excited to see what advances had taken places over the last 15 years. Back before the accident in 1996 people were talking about the internet a little bit, but it wasn’t that common, I was shocked to see how pervasive this so called internet was in everyone’s lives. Also everyone kept asking me if I had [...]
  • Well, watched...
    Fucking ridiculous…
  • Why Most Apple Fanatics Suck
    What’s with people who are obsessed with Apple and everything the company does? Yeah they make cool software and at times have nifty innovations. Why is there such a “Cult of Apple?” There are three major factors which I will outline below. Guess what? You are the people that fell for that ridiculous advert bonanza back in 2006 or whatever the fuck year that was. You know, the commercial where that douche bag actor juxtaposes next to a supposed PC nerd type actor. Exploiting obvious stereotypes that any idiot under a rock could see through. No doubt there are archaic [...]
  • Marx & Materialism
    Aside from race relations never being properly resolved in Marx’s brilliant ideas I often wonder about what his take on fashion and art would possibly be. It clicked for me when I started thinking about the differences between design and art and I believe he (Marx) would agree with what follows. Design always has functionality; someone may look at a beautiful chair by Herman Miller Co. and say, “Wow that is a lovely piece of art.” Although more and more we are seeing the blurring of the line betwixt art and design it should be clearly stated that design is [...]

  • Cocaine Grrrls
    Note by Author: All of my works are purely of fiction and must be read that way. Girls that do Cocaine annoy the shit out of me. I can easily spot a female that is a coke head. Three hints: You could be in the middle of anything; sex, sushi, church, and they get a call or text and they book it out the door with some lame ass excuse. Oh yeah, how many times has your grandma died now? When you go out with them they mysteriously disappear for inordinate amounts of time. Finally they are usually skinny as [...]
  • Astrology: Even Dumber Than Religion
    Astrology and the people that believe it are idiots. If it were in fact true in the pure theoretical means that proponents of it ascribe to, it would be a scientifically provable theory, period. Guess what? Astrology writers are just random people who make shit up and publish it. Sorry to break your paradigm, but even though astrologists have some general guidelines they follow, IE stupid shit like “Virgos are hot headed but good lovers” and “Gemini’s are very organized and have free spirits,” it doesn’t change the fact that the daily horoscopes they write are made up fantasies. At [...]
  • Explicit Sexual Activity
    All the trappings of a creative environment are here Solitude a TV books music mirrors and some drink In this instance Spanish gin and rye whiskey Firsts both And yet it’s not coming It Werner Erhard it My two dogs sniff each other’s asses And some Jap movie about hell is on the 27” This is a tale of things that every hipster Every mouth breather Every single waste of space that slithers around the street And socializes and digs the scene And drips irony Writes about But I’m old(er) And conservative mostly Filled with contempt and disgust And I [...]
  • Mouth Breathers: I Hate You
    Yeah that title is right. I don’t care about your “septum problems”, or your “allergies” or whatever else dumb fuck reason you have for not breathing out of your nose. Mouths were made for eating and chewing food, and perhaps to secondarily breathe out of while you sleep in case your nose get blocked (so you don’t die – duh!). If you walk around cognizant of your ridiculous mouth breathing know this: you look like an idiot. I oft wonder if mouth breathers even realize they are mouth breathers, or if they are just too stupid to care. Also I [...]
  • While My Guitar Gently Weeps
    We were several hundred miles south of Sacramento when we stopped for gas at one of the many non-descript truck stop/fast food hubs along the five en route to Los Angeles. I was travelling with my brother, his girl, her 3 y/o daughter, their two dogs and two cats in a caravan that was trickling it’s way south at a painfully slow pace; my brother and I up front in his work truck, his girl behind in a SUV. At this time I was operating at half capacity when we stopped for gas, my brain still dulled from long nights, [...]
  • Rape in the 21st Century: A Scientific Study
    Dr. Johns M. Pierston Ph.D. Dr. Abrams Larry Johnson Psy.D. Let me preface this very scientific article to let all you readers know that all participants in this study were fully briefed in what they were getting involved in. In other words “no one was really hurt in the process of this study.” We have always had the sneaking suspicion that a subset of men/women may actually enjoy forced sex, AKA rape. Since this is a very sensitive topic to even talk about, over at our research center we decided that we would put out a classified ad in the [...]


  • Labor = Money
    The bourgeoisie is a speck of the general population The “middle class” is largely a hologram designed by the bourgeoisie This “middle class” is riddled with debt and loans that the bourgeoisie owns Beneath the middle class façade lies a regular proletarian The stock market is a tool invented by the bourgeoisie In reality the vast majority of the stock market is owned and controlled by the bourgeoisie It provides the proletariat with the false feeling of ownership It gives the proletariat the needed feeling of probability of upper mobility (POUM) The American corporation has the same rights of a [...]
  • Cycles
    As predictable as Bukowski taking another shot Of Whiskey Or Hunter Thompson taking as many drugs he possibly can Then shooting his typewriter Or like Ferlinghetti’s poem structure Even Hemingway’s groundbreaking style Maybe like Burroughs shooting up Cash With some fine southern heroin Like Camus and his elegant words Like Vonnegut’s playful words bouncing on the page But reflecting reality all too well As boring as Burroughs westerns As soothing as Hesse Like the imagery of Brautigan As revolutionary as Engels and Marx As insightful and thought provoking as Feynman As gay as Ginsberg As colorful as Corso, The pain [...]
  • Local champ writes vapid article
    Here is an article about mustaches. Not only is the subject lamer than a three legged homeless dog, there is a complete failure to recognize the most epic staches in history, ie Nietsche and Sam Elliot. This is what passes for community involvement and entertainment in this wretched city. Fart on my mustache

  • 2011: Lesbianism
    From a purely sociological point of view the way I would normally look at this topic is by doing some sort of survey/data capturing technique on the subject then analyzing it in-depth. However, this article will make many inferences and will contain my opinion, so take it as just that: an opinion article as are most of my articles on here. 2011: Lesbianism, Winning! Its all around me, and this is fine, absolutely fine, I love gay people as much as I love straight or asexual people. Well, you asexual folks are a little weird; we all know that you [...]
  • Cold Bold
    Dick out Pissing in the sink Pulled a hair out my face With tweezers It was malformed Mushy and thick I twisted and gnashed it Between my fingernails I looked at it Like it was a poor Disabled brother I finished pissing in the sink Looked up Saw that I had a Red lump on my Eyelid And thought Damn I look sorry That’s when I noticed A stretch mark It’s too bad That all of the bodies skin Isn’t made up of Boner skin Because if it was No one Would have Stretch marks


  • The 1
    Is a hater She loves to make Me seem like a creep Though, She secretly likes It And is worse than I, And plays Along But has to hide it From her Precious friends Because She is too ashamed I guess That’s why shes 21 And I’m 30… Hotel Inn Security Inn
  • Battle Hymn
    BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBSometimes BBBBThere BBIs BBBBBBBBBNo BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOther BBBBBBBBBWay BBBBBBBBBBBBTo BBBBDo BBBBBBIt BBBBBBBBOther BBBBBBBBBBBBThan BBBBBBBBBBBBBBJust BBBBBBBBFUCKBBBBBBBBBBBSaying; BBBBYOUBBBBBBBBBBBI BBBBBBBBLOVE BBBBBYOU
  • Ebay the new Starbucks?
    I sell things from time to time on Ebay, mostly antiques and clothing or basically anything I know will resell. I’m not some super powerseller or anything, I just do it when I have some extra time. I have been a bit busy lately so I haven’t sold so much. Coincidently in this slow period they sent me a survey. I found this surevy quite interesting in the fact that it was questioning me mainly in regards to whether I would be more inclined to sell if they had EBay branded drop off and pick up services and Ebay stations [...]
  • Dr. Kevorkian Lives... in Sacramento
    http://www.familysecuritymatters.org/publications/id.8382/pub_detail.asp Its funny how the dipshit that wrote this article says “he returns to the governors mansion.” If he knew an iota about Jerry Brown he would know that he refused to live in it when he was our governor before.

  • Abnormal Psychology & Comorbidity
    First and foremost let me give you due disclosure; I am new to psychology and plan on entering graduate studies in psychology soon, and I only hold my bachelor’s degree right now. After taking an a few psychology courses and most notably an abnormal psychology course I would like to discuss a topic that keeps entering my mind. The topic is about how we look at and perceive abnormal psychology as a whole. The DSM-IV-TR is laid out in such a fashion that if one can examine a person’s daily interactions/thoughts/etc they can match these symptoms to a list of [...]
  • The Artful Dodger
    Oh your soul The artful thinking self Convinced you are one of the Written word The colors And sound I hate to break it to Thy fragile soul You belong in the Corporate world Being a Data entry Clerk II
  • Advice
    One year on my birthday My sister wrote on my Birthday card: “PS. Quit drinking, it will change your life, It sure changed mine, Now I have a family, And I’m quite happy.” I thought about it For a few months When her birthday arrived I wrote on the bottom of her card: “PS. I’m quite happy, As is, Thank you.”
  • Layers of reference
    If a perfectly painted elephant Were painted to blend Exactly as the eye saw it Against the background Of a room, or outdoors; Anywhere One would say the elephant didn’t exist If camouflaged exactly so What if the opposite could also be done? What if there were empty spaces Camouflaged inversely In the background In a room, or outdoors; Anywhere, Within our existence Disguised as the background That we knew nothing about What are these spaces then?
  • The Future
    Black squares entombed by Circles touching edges Golden cross with a window behind it A sprinkler head with A long gun barrel mounted upon it A large two dimensional rotating surface With many purple Buttons upon it A glowing pyramid On the horizon A cylindrical object Plunges towards earth This creates Retaliation And Then War begins
  • Under the Hood
    A simple moment in time Was suspended that night It was drawn out into a universe A big bang creation within my brain It affected me deeply I let it be known, to you, that it did so And this poem is about you You act as if it was nothing That a fly landed on your shoulder And you swatted it away Is that the truth? Which lies within your skull? Or do your insecurities make you Act as if you don’t care Because once you let someone in And things don’t go your route; They are shut out? [...]
  • Echolalia Zine
    Coming soon! A poetry rag. Please email me if you are interested in submitting! I don’t want this thing to be completely written by me.
  • Ancient Aged Blues
    Was it the old man? Did he creep in your room Moonlight glistening on his forehead “Don’t worry This is normal”, he said Or rather his brother Came in and said “Don’t worry This is normal, Keep this our little secret” Or was it just me? Was I such a monster that You can’t bare to hear my voice Or do you see old ladies in your sleep Or do you secretly hate the old lady For what she put you through Hate her so much you Displace that hate To those that care? Whatever your demons You can always [...]
  • Love
    If you are ———————–Everything ————to me Without ————————————–You ————-I have ———————————————————Nothing
  • A step in the right direction... for now
    Back some time ago I wrote an article exploring the implications of so called “net neutrality.” Today the FCC approved net neutrality rules in a 3-2 vote. My intent here is not to examine the intricacies of what was adopted and what is was not but to give you more of a wider picture of why this is so important for all of us. In our society we have different classes of people, as you know. Most people are middle class (income approx. $30,000 – $500,000 a year), about 99% of you are. One percent of the population is considered [...]
  • A History of Folsom Dam in Photos
    Wikipedia- The current Folsom Dam, built in 1955, replaced an earlier, smaller dam that had been completed in 1893 by Horatio Gates Livermore. The earlier dam had fed the Folsom Powerhouse, generating electricity that was transmitted to Sacramento over a 22 miles (35 km)-long distribution line, the longest electrical distribution system in the world at the time. The remains of the earlier dam can be seen downstream from the Folsom Lake Crossing. The current dam was originally authorized by Congress in 1944 as a 355,000 acre·ft (438,000 dam) flood control unit. Folsom Dam was reauthorized in 1949 as a 1,000,000 [...]
  • Something Like Crack
    Dizzying percussion like in a ditch In World War I Only thing saving you is that thin metal helmet But you keep bobbing up Looking for the enemy So you can shoot them or try But when your head comes up You become the target you were looking for There is no other way out You may lay there hopeless Waiting For relief For someone to inform you its over For that savior to introduce herself But she never comes Instead you keep trying And aiming Dodging and Ducking And when she comes She shoots you Between the eyes
  • HQs
    She doesn’t love me anymore That’s what the birds chirp everyday She, my car never starts easy No one listens or cares But why should they? It’s a car Aside from that Hungry for a quarter pounder With cheese I walked to the local golden arches And ordered a quarter pounder With cheese As I sat there I noticed I was in a hub A hub of activity There were no normal people in this McDonalds There was just an odd presence I arose from my seat and glimpsed behind the counter I noticed a decked out system back there [...]
  • French75
    first the bubbles, then the kick to the gut visceral and soothing in the make-you-piss-blood kinda way irresponsible, yes. but that’s what the rest of life is for so i see things, like an immigrant couple: clinging to tradition and the past a warm body creates a sense of peace but i know that no matter what the shells can fall the big guns can strip you naked and destroy your life death and snakes wait around every corner no matter where you are. if the scent of mai tais fill the air, or cow shit, stale beer, morning dew… or expensive perfume [...]

  • Realities of bam bam
    Fighter plains fly like birds Feathers of carbon fiber Glued with Horse tail precision amounts to Balance Lost on drunken nights Like walks alone Hope to not be held up again By two Mexicans with A porn star sized 45 Old west looking rusty killer Thanks for the gin Pointed in my teeth Give cash, look down OR DIE Asked what I’d support if i had to Fuckin’ commie or capitalist hero? The FBI got wind Now I find my neck in a guillotine Waiting for the shwwwwwoooop  shwap! I heard you can see for 11 seconds I hope someone [...]
  • Honey Metal
    Abstract friends Painted like the night lurking to morning gray turns bright silver on the horizon half moon                 goes down dew forms like water colors dipped on blades of grass soon to be cut tossed into bags by migrant worker(s) dishwashers clean spoons that fell out of the ice cream trucks garbage plastic spoon microwaved and dipped in honey warm on rye that was slightly burnt aluminum roofs in developing countries listen to the rain hit like pellets drip      drip       drop go – to -       sleep
  • No improvement from this drug user
    Editor’s note: This recently uncovered audio is a testament to my commitment to the miserable craft of writing. In an effort to become a better writer, a better person, even a better drug user I took the advice of a disgruntled reader. Some dipshit named Geoff suggested I use more drugs to improve my grammar. So I did just that. The name of the actual town where mountain donkeys hail is called Oatman not Kingman. Against my better judgment, here is a five minute conversation between Pat Seanrick Walsh, myself and some chick. JSS “Announcement, the line of blow, the [...]
  • Submit Your Poems for "Echolalia" -- An all Poetry Publication
    Please submit up to 10 of your works by October 31st. Also, submit any artwork, Hi-resolution of course! All submissions: info@anomie1.com Thank you!
  • ha
    Editor’s note: found this little gem quite amusing. When the film adaptation of  For Whom the Bell Tolls was ready for release, the producers sent a telegram to the author, who was on Bimini: “FILM IS FINISHED, YOU WILL LOVE IT. ALL WE NEED IS A SHORT, SNAPPY, SEXY TITLE.” Hemingway wired back: “HOW ABOUT FUCK?”
  • this one's for the ladies ...
    perhaps a conversation would suffice
  • Creepy fan voicemail
    Editor’s Note: Some guy who lives in Santa Cruz got my phone number from a friend from a friend from a friend kind of thing and insisted I come down to hang out. Here is a series of two voicemails I received at 3am. Voicemail I: Don’t you fucking start with me you fucking artist, I fucking hate your life. I know I am one and I fucking hate myself that way and I know I hate myself and I know like you are one, and so you hate yourself that way, in identifying, and stuff. And we haven’t offed [...]

  • I refuse to take drugs I need
    I was up by 630 this morning, didn’t get to sleep till just a few hours ago. I was nervous about my test results. I had to go into the doctor’s office and discuss what’s going on. I can’t sleep when I have to wake up early because it pisses me off to know I have to get up early. I’m convinced I’m fucked up in several ways. I have been having chest pains, tight chest, shortness of breath, possible ulcer, fatigue, insomnia, my left nut retracts way deep into my body when I do Kegel exercises, the taste of [...]
  • Colors // Poem
    White went to grey Grey went to black The black blankness was there Nagging Although still functional in life, Still having the urge to move forward Missing something, Without knowing Chance encounter Hopefully not just a rebound Picking fresh flowers like a teen The spring dew drips off the flower It drips down to the ground like ink Slow Slow motion It splatters and writes a name Back to normal motion Walking around in the moonlight The names appear hear and there In between Joking, Laughing Writing on shit, not caring Grey turns to white White turns to something potentially [...]
  • The Possibility That String Theory can Unify all of The Underlying Theories in Physics
    One of Physicists primary objectives is to find a Grand Unifying Theory (GUT). The point of this GUT is to unify all of the four fundamental forces that we observe in nature into one complete theory that can explain them all. There are many GUTs in existence but the most primarily focused upon GUT is a theory that goes by the name String Theory. Since String Theory seems to be the most promising GUT at the moment and has been for many years, I will use current literature to highlight and explore the implications, problems, and possibilities with String Theory. [...]
  • Sociology of Religion
    Emile Durkheim had many ideas about society and religion, how they supported each other and how they are linked together. This paper takes two church services of different faiths and examines them prima facie, then draws parallels to Durkheim’s work. The two services are compared and contrasted and then a discussion will follow that explains how the services each fit into Durkheim’s paradigm. Durkheim argues that in either a mechanical or organic society when there is any separation of the profane and the sacred, religion arises. Durkheim’s view is that no object was intrinsically profane or sacred. A mere objects [...]
  • Deal Ticket // Save Money in Sacramento!
    How would you like to save 51-90% on Sacramento’s top restaurants, salons and businesses every day? Well, now you can! We introduce to you, Deal Ticket. To give you an idea of what’s in store, we have great deals at Tuli Bistro (60% off), Evan’s Kitchen (58% off), Article (67% off) and the L Wine Lounge (55% off) – all lined up for just the first week! Sign Up!: sacramentopress.com/deals
  • Voice
    Just hearing that familiar voice Sometimes, that’s all it takes When you are in the depths of a sorrow Depression or whatever may cause it Sometimes that voice Or that call, That visit Makes all the difference But usually however much you want When you are down and out, That voice does not come But You have substances Alcohol, pills, etc They can help to some extent But the reassurance, The feeling of life Of purity That only comes from another human Makes you feel OK It only comes sometimes Usually when you don’t need it But when you need [...]
  • Booze, yes // Poem
    Vodka, yes Rum, only when I’m in Puerto Rico Whiskey, Only ones not blended Gin, sure Beer, sometimes Vermouth, in a martini Wine, red Tequila, no thanks Absinthe, now and then Brandy, no Scotch, with soda water Cider, OK Water, in the morning
  • Number 3007
    Exhausted yet exhilarated Drained but excited Death lurks around every corner But so too does love Doves fought and fell to the ground Right in front of me I stared down at them in awe Why did two birds just fall out of the sky? Landing at my feet The victor of their skirmish Flew away, to find the love It fought for The Other dove gasped its last Breath I shook my head as if in a dream As I kept walking to my car From the hospital doors
  • Cunts
    Women or shall I say; Girls Nowadays, act as if they can do anything Largely because guys want to get their penii Wet And don’t react normally to the stupid Shit they do So, last night, this GIRL Hit me in the nuts She thought it was funny I didn’t, Another GIRL Came up to defend I wanted to bitch slap them both But some Captain-Save-A-Hoes, Some Larrys Were pervin’ around And wanted to fight So I didn’t
  • The Cycle
    I work for 15 days I get direct deposit into my bank account The bourgeoisie quickly takes it all out Bills to pay I work another 15 days for the bourgeoisie They take it out again Bills to pay I’m broke in 8-9 days; Usually I eagerly await the bourgeoisie to drop my cash in my bank account once again So they can take it again

  • BACK
    When I was little Sometimes I would go to my grandpa’s house He had bamboo in his back yard A greenhouse Big hands And a pool filled with cold water But I liked swimming in it There was an Orca tiled into the bottom that I would dive down to He would give me “Highlights” magazines to read And the tagline “Fun with a Purpose” I misread As synonymous with that Orca  I wondered what his deal with whales was… I was told he loved us, but he was hard and rough Aside from the pool The big hands The [...]
  • Old Poem // Cat Bite
    I was brushing my cat’s short gray hair She is about 14 or 15 years old She is very temperamental If you touch her too long Or in the wrong place She will bite But she loves to be brushed If you brush her too long She will bite She has been wearing here leathern spiked collar for years I bought it at Petco Real leather, it was not cheap If you touch her leather spiked collar She will bite If you pet her stomach She will bite I almost bit her once But I didn’t I didn’t want to [...]
  • Conversation with a Crazy Person
    “And just like that he left, taking an old hard-bound copy of the sound and the fury with him. That’s what smart people read, right? I’ve been told that. By a junior college professor once… Smart people are overrated. And what did he do for a living? You mean to collect money? I suppose that’s what I mean. I don’t know, suffered, nailed his soul to a cross and cried like a little girl. What does anyone do? What they can: work. I should have figured as much. Nothing would have just come easy. Well, that’s not entirely true; walks [...]
  • Technology
    Once upon a time When I was in 8th grade 1992 or 1993 Before the internet was accessible There were bulletin board systems (BBS) I dialed to one in Sacramento I downloaded a nude picture of Cindy Crawford Topless I saved it to my computer It took about 20 minutes The file was 10KB I printed it off using my dot matrix printer Then I experimented I experimented I experimented
  • My Z-List
    I may have met you on the street Or in an alley Or in a club Or on the sidewalk Or in the gutter Or in the nice lounge You are invariably a female I’ve either become bored of you Or you’ve become bored of me Or you gave me your number to entertain Or to get rid of me Or I don’t want to play your chasing Games So what I do is add a “Z-“ To the beginning of your name in my phone So you go to the bottom of my list So that I know when [...]
  • The Routine
    Eye contact occurs In a dingy club Dancers dancing, Bros tossing back shots You casually meet You exchange phone numbers Then you text You text Text Finally you talk (in person on the phone) If you get lucky you get coffee Then later you might do lunch Then you climax with dinner Then you have sex Dating is boring I don’t care what any girl says The thrill of the “catch” I’d rather the surprise of turning over In the morning And seeing whether I did well Or failed
  • Chapter VII - Two Boys and Two Girls
    This is a chapter from a novel that I am working on. This is fiction, do not get mad at me. Two straights and two gays occupied the night of May 15th 2010. As we pioneered from destination to destination it seems the good times happen between the end points rather than at the destinations themselves. The night didn’t get too eventful until we all had perfectly measured and thought out proportions of liquor. Pints of Beer and good whiskey and other shitty whiskey burned down our throats and into our bellies, mixed with our stomach acid and entered our [...]
  • “Palate”: International Artists Explore the Idea of Food as Muse and Medium
    Opening Reception May 22, 2010, 7-10 p.m. On view May 22 Through June 12, 2010 If cooking is an art form, then food is the most common medium of artistic expression in the world. Opening May 22, Scion’s Installation L.A. Gallery presents “Palate,” a group exhibition of internationally lauded artists in which food takes its rightful place inside the gallery. Curated by Zio Fulcher, “Palate” features new works and installations by Clare Crespo, Jeph Gurecka, Scott Hove, Tamara Kostianovsky, Alan Macdonald, James Reynolds, Martha Rich and Jeff Vespa at Scion’s 4,500-square foot Installation Space in Culver City. “Palate,” which means [...]
  • Ancient Age Moves to Plastic Bottles
    The unthinkable has happened, something I would have never suspected the pioneering folks over at Buffalo Trace Distillery would have ever even considered. Let me tell you how the story goes. I was at the local liquor store “A&P” on the corner of 21st and K, a staple of Sacramento boozers, trannies, junkies, weekend warriors, etc. I buy a very special Kentucky bourbon, Ancient Age, a good amount of time, ok nevermind, everyday. It is literally my favorite Kentucky bourbon. Yeah, fuck you bourbon snobs; back off with your snide remarks. As I handed over my 5 bucks for a [...]
  • Rotten Apples
    Rotten Apples is finally coming together for Summer 2010, and here’s a sneak peek. What started in a garage in Fair Oaks in 2006 has changed course half a dozen times and is slowly but surely growing into a brand. More to come at www.rottenapplesco.com, so stay tuned, and keep the scene alive.
  • Nobody Knows // Poem
    The only girl I ever loved Was a complete fraud Frauds are fakes and fakes Never change People try as hard as they can To forget about their lies That’s why they Go to the grave Hating themselves That’s why you should be open Be you Be what you won’t regret Love what you love No matter what anyone thinks Don’t blow your Brains out Good luck Getting brain Love, love, love Forget the nay Sayers Love And be happy Be happy You; I
  • M.I.A. Born Free
    During a quick visit to Upper Playground Sacramento I was shown M.I.A.s new music video, “Born Free”. To be honest, at first I was expecting some corny video that would cater toward a teeny hipster crowd. But my preconception of M.I.A. was extremely far from reality. The video reminded me of a mix between District 9, Gummo and the last Rambo. The video is about 10 minutes long with M.I.A.s new song serving as a good soundtrack. The video, like District 9, makes a political statement about how easy genocide can and does happen. It makes you want to raise [...]
  • Double Down...Ya'll
    I woke up drunk regretting all of the usual mistakes from the night before, felonies, moral transgressions, and copious drug use. I had a mind numbing headache, so I decided what better way to make myself feel a little less hung over? Perhaps I’ll eat some greasy fast food. As I was on my way to Taco Bell I saw a KFC joint, and I thought to myself “fuck that I’m going to get some chicken!” On my way into the fine KFC establishment I saw this “thing” on the door, a sandwich with chicken for buns, Yeah. So being [...]

  • “SKETCH 4 SKETCH” -- Alex Pardee
    Alex Pardee kicked off his US art tour today starting at Upper Playground in Sacramento. Legions of loyal fans started to patiently line up outside of the store waiting to get a print, vinyl toy or some other art related object signed and perhaps drawn or painted on by Pardee. Alex Pardees first stop was here in Sacramento he will then go around the United States stopping in cities and finally do his closing show at Fifty24SF Gallery in San Francisco. Pardee and his team had a webcam and laptop in tow which they are streaming all of their showings [...]
  • Graffiti Coloring Book 2: Characters, a new coloring book from Dokument Press
    Press release: Characters are both the most easily accessible and neglected area in graffiti culture. They are the figures that stand by the side, drawing attention to the graffiti writer’s name. After Dokument Press’ first coloring book, the Graffiti Coloring Book, art expert and PhD Jacob Kimvall thought it was time for characters to stand in the spotlight. “I’ve always been fascinated by the characters of graffiti. They add playfulness to the poetic quality of the letters, and help to open up the pictures to the viewer. But they also have an artistic language of their own. At the same [...]

  • Poem // Repeat
    It’s gotten to the point; I go out every night Drink a pint of whiskey and talk to girls or not Night after night After night After night It gets old I’d say it contributes to a collective ring of depression I see the fellow lurkers out and know they are Depressed We all have problems Dead dads or moms Handicapped dads or moms Raped or abused Our own little reasons To explain why we do what we do Trying to break out of this cycle Is damn near impossible

  • Real Texts Sent to Me
    From various people at various times. Patricia: It’ll be cool. I can think of something more fun Regina: me too.im hella borming but u better hang out! Ernie: Hella sick… Just chillin on night meds. Amir: Haha. Sounds good. With hard work comes sluts, drugs and guns… Kyle: Aha. Why didn’t i think of that. Theres burger and gaga. I swear we discovered another one that i cant remember right now. Lets do research. Jessica: You said shes an upgrade do you not remember? Jessica: I know but u said shes betterthan me, i dont disagree Jessica: Um your texts [...]


  • petitioning an empty sky
    I have to say that I have a love/hate relationship with Southern California.  There are creative/business oportunites everywhere and it certainly provides a platform that should you succeed in whatever it is you are pursuing, you set the bar pretty high for any future competition.  What I’m not so clear on is that for some reason the majority of the world aspires to something that really isn’t that impressive once experienced in person.  Like anywhere else, L.A. is what you make of it. That being said, I do have a gripe.  This city is enourmous and you have to travel to reach nature [...]


  • Abuse of Power: Culture Clash Ends in Show of Force
    Editors Note: Back in the mid 90’s I was into going to a lot of punk shows – I still am from time to time even now. The other day I was rummaging through some of my old stuff and I found an article that I had cut out that reminded me of one show I attended. It was a more memorable one that I went to with a few friends, I forget exactly who, But I remember my friend Jarret Cook was there. I could be way off on some of the minor details but I think the show [...]
  • Standing with People that are Standing by Haiti
    Last night I had the opportunity to go music/comedy extravaganza “Stand by Haiti” hosted by Jack Black at what I consider an awesome venue, the Wiltern (probably just because I saw NIN at the Wiltern for their last show, so it has a special place in my heart).  To be honest I didn’t much want to go out on a Tuesday, and an earthquake in Haiti is nowhere near the top of my priority list, but it was free, and I have to say I was very pleasantly surprised. The lineup was broken into two groups: stand-up acts (Maya Rudolph, [...]
  • Tycho, Sister Crayon, Cell Phone Thiefs
    So I had a great night at the last day of the Sacramento Electronic Music Festival (SEMF) at The Townhouse in Sacramento. Sister Crayon played great as usual, except they didn’t have the volume up high enough on the lead singers’ voice. Since her presence and voice transcends sound barriers it made up for the issue. I talked to a few old friends about the old Capitol Garage location, reminiscing on punk rock shows. I am fairly sick with a cold, and was trying to keep my distance from a lot of my friends and may have seemed unfairly rude. [...]
  • 'These are the Hobos in my Neighborhood, in my Neighborhood..."
    L.A. has something like 50,000 homeless people roaming the streets.  I can only assume that a combination of Vietnam, Ronald Reagan and a warm climate make it this way, but regardless they often make for some interesting people watching.  Here on the strip of Santa Monica Blvd. that runs through West Hollywood there are a few local bums that have earned a special place in my heart.  In no particular order, I introduce you to the hobos in my neighborhood: Harriet the Snake Woman.  She usually sits on the sidewalk with a crumpled paper cup asking for change.  On a [...]
  • Har Mar Superstar // Nice Surprise
    photo: harmarsuperstar.com I walked to Sacramento lesbian bar turned hipster funhouse, Townhouse, by my lonely. A girl invited me to see The Storytellas, a great local ska band that were playing at a venue nearby. She said she would be outside when I walked by. I walked by and didn’t see her curls so I kept on going to do what was  originally planned at The Townhouse. As I was approaching my good friend Josh called me and said, “It’s bullshit man, its 7 bucks to get in tonight” I replied, “There is no way I am going to pay [...]

  • I need my medicine , *cough* bro!
    Living in Los Angeles, you can’t spit without hitting a “medical” marijuana clinic, which are now more common that Starbuck’s.  It has been interesting to see these so-called clinics sprouting up like weeds (pun intended), and not being a pot smoker myself I kinda wanted to know more.  Particularly why I have never seen anybody that looks like a terminal cancer or glaucoma patient hanging around out front.  Are the clinics good/bad?  Is there any crime involved?  Why do they exist?   Medically speaking, marijuana has moderate analgesic properties; it neither prevents nor cures anything, so people take it to, big [...]
  • Short Song
    Note: I came across this poem I quickly scribbled on the back of a piece of notepaper from when I was going to UC Davis in 2003 or 2004 and I kind of liked it, so here it is: Am I depressed Or are my emotions repressed Maybe my anger is on recess The more I look I see less America is about being best Spread your wings and leave nest Join a religion to pass a test But your guess is as good as my guess Be submissive don’t ask questions Don’t think too much or give suggestion The [...]
  • Mac vs. PC
    who really gives a fuck
  • Cat Junk // Poem
    Cats look like the ultimate Junk users I looked over at my 2 cats in Pure ecstasy But they aren’t on drugs Lounged out Eyes barely open Looks like they are on some really Good shit
  • Snake oil of the new Millennium
    I was watching the news this morning and an interesting commercial caught my eye.  The commercial was for McCormick dried oregano leaves and what I found particularly odd was that the dried oregano was being billed as a “source of antioxidants.”  Really?! Oregano? I had ignored this trend for years, but now I have to draw the line. In the last five years this antioxidant trend has grown into a multimillion dollar business in which thousands of people buy products that they think are going to make them healthier in some way.  So what is an antioxidant?  As I understand [...]