This article is not about women’s rights, so please don’t email me with your complaints. This article is about my distain for women trying to get in the venerable “good ol’ boys” club. More and more these days I see females trying to emulate guys and the actions that guys do on the regular. Sex, a lot of it, with many different people, drugs, boozin’, fightin’, etc. Many are tom boys gone terribly wrong, many are just trying to recreate what they see on shitty reality TV shows, and others are just doing what they find fun. As a guy, in this collective “good ol’ boys” club smoking the finest Cubans and wearing my velvet robe I say we need to slam the burl wooden door shut with our initial embroidered slippers, and fast!

So you may posit, why? The more the merrier….right? NO! I like to think that girls shit don’t stink. They have marshmallows for poop. Actually they don’t even have butt holes they have a smooth spot there like a Barbie doll. I find it disgusting when females tell me about their exploits. “Yeah, I fought this bitch last night, and do you know how many guys I fucked last week?” No, I do not know, nor would I like to.

I think the main reason why there is a fundamental difference to why it’s ok for guys to perform these actions and girls not to is because guys have a stick and girls have a hole. With a dick, what you see is what you get. No mysteries. Girls, well, there could be anything up in that hot box, and I think us guys like to imagine that it is completely pristine and a perfect paradise up in there. It doesn’t make any sense at all but that’s the only thing I could think of. There actually is no reason, and it’s unfair and too bad, but that’s my reasoning and I’m sticking to it.