Ancient Age Moves to Plastic Bottles

The unthinkable has happened, something I would have never suspected the pioneering folks over at Buffalo Trace Distillery would have ever even considered. Let me tell you how the story goes. I was at the local liquor store “A&P” on the corner of 21st and K, a staple of Sacramento boozers, trannies, junkies, weekend warriors, etc. I buy a very special Kentucky bourbon, Ancient Age, a good amount of time, ok nevermind, everyday. It is literally my favorite Kentucky bourbon. Yeah, fuck you bourbon snobs; back off with your snide remarks. As I handed over my 5 bucks for a pint of ancient age, I quickly put the bottle in my back pocket and walked out of the store. I stopped in the alley to take a pull before going back in the club I was at which was hosting a weekly Friday event called “Fuck Fridays” at townhouse. Yes, bartenders, that is why I never buy at your bars. To my horror the bottle flexed when I squeezed. I thought, “what the hell, did they accidentally give me a bottle of Ten High” or something? Upon further inspection my worst fears were realized. Ancient Age has officially abandoned its glass bottles, leaving its classy and glassy presence in the past. The Ancient Age went down my esophagus, nice and smooth, good as ever, but I will admit I was upset with the decision makers over at Buffalo Trace. I can no longer buy Ancient Age and think I am having an ounce of class. I will still enjoy it, as it still tastes the same, but I swear to god, Buffalo Trace, you better watch your step. You may not know but you have many loyal faithful fans and moves like this can alienate them. And also, if any of you suits happen to be reading this over there at Buffalo Trace Distillery, where the hell can I find the legendary “Ancient Ancient Age?” To those readers at home, “Ancient Ancient Age” is their 10 year aged whiskey that you can find images of online, but I have never seen in a store. Email me, readers, if you know where to buy an Ancient Age shirt, and/or if you want to start a “bring back the glass” campaign.

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