Why Folsom Sucks el numero dos

On my way to work today, in a scorching 104 degree weather, I discovered why Folsom sucks, again. It’s hotter than Egypt here and traffic is about as fast as a dial-up modem in the late 90’s.

A stop in the road occurred on E. Bidwell, after waiting on the shitty road work on Sutter St., which is apparently going to take another few months to complete. Apparently two blocks worth of retrofitting a tube for shit and piss to flow through takes these people months of labor. I don’t know I don’t install tubes for human waste to flow through. Either way, Sutter St is about two blocks that only sees action on the weekends. In the daytime, it’s old farts buying turquoise amulets, and leather bracelets. Sutter St. is the gayest and only thing Folsom has going for it.

Back to E. Bidwell, cars are swerving into the left hand turn lane, other cars are flowing right, like water around a rock, all avoiding this blockage in the road. It turns out two young females in beamers were having issues, or one of them was anyway. I stopped behind the two, hit the flashers and waited, knowing that this was going to be a great opportunity for material.

I watched all the cars flying around these two, in absolute impatience. I thought jesus what undisciplined pricks. No one is helping these two females. All these bastards had a few things in common, no one stopped, and no one offered help to these money humpers.

Common decency, and manners have no place in Folsom, I rarely hear someone say “excuse me” when they punch right past my face with a fat malnutritioned ham-hawk fed barrel of an arm. I usually envision Ogre in the Gauntlet Nintendo games moaning ‘Need food baaadly…”

They looked like the type of women I’d typically dismiss or be unnecessarily mean to, just because there were beautiful. I refuse to inflate the egos of women like this, the women who expect a guy to inflate their egos. Just to go complain-bragging to their friends that yet another douche bag wanted to get into their malodorous balloon knot and dig around like a mole. You’re on your own for validation babes.

These are women I would have nothing to do with ever in my life, they, nothing with me, in fact I hated them when I saw them. The only redeeming quality I can imagine they have would be not selling out their coke dealer if they didn’t offer to blow the cop first.

One young gal got out of her car and was talking to the other, I just assumed they were having car problems. Or their phone battery died and they just held up traffic on E. Bidwell to chat. But still there was not a single Mexican polished car stopping and offering them help. All the cars passing by all made it a point to be Folsom about things and swerve around them at unsafe speeds and back again in a furtive movement just to display their disapproval of the inconvenience.

This was incredible, Folsomites at their best, they were disrespecting their own kind (not that being considerate here is par for the course). Folsom is the antithesis of a community, but everyone acts more like a bunch of ravenous hammer-head sharks swirling in circles waiting for chum, hunting and scavenging for their next meal, and fuck the rest.

There I was, behind the two beamers and watching everyone act like they were working for the Pentagon, on their way to a hot lead, providing me with more reasons to hate them. I took the initiative to reluctantly help the females by warning the drivers behind me there was something happening and they should slow down.

This is what pisses me off, and this is Why Folsom Sucks, I didn’t want to help these two selfish and clueless dipshits out, I did so because no one else was. I was forced into benevolence out of pure spite for typical Folsom behavior. I don’t want to have to be nice as a counter to despicable behavior. I thought my sense of duty faded in March of this year. Let’s see if the favor is ever returned.