Mouth Breathers: I Hate You

Yeah that title is right. I don’t care about your “septum problems”, or your “allergies” or whatever else dumb fuck reason you have for not breathing out of your nose. Mouths were made for eating and chewing food, and perhaps to secondarily breathe out of while you sleep in case your nose get blocked (so you don’t die – duh!).

If you walk around cognizant of your ridiculous mouth breathing know this: you look like an idiot. I oft wonder if mouth breathers even realize they are mouth breathers, or if they are just too stupid to care. Also I am not worried that any of my mouth breathing acquaintances will be offended by this article because they are probably too stupid to even waste their time reading an article on the internet. They are most likely too busy “listening to beats” or “blazing some chronic.”

mouth breather

Above: Mouth breather looking hella dumb.

Its very simple, if you ARE a mouth breather and you happened to read this article do what we evolved to do, simply breathe out of your nose. Your nose has a filtering system in it, IE hairs and other mechanisms that allow many particulate debris to be filtered out before they enter your lungs and possibly your blood stream. Mouth breathers will continue to become dumber and dumber because the more they mouth breathe the more toxins they will consume.

If your buddy is a mouth breather, quit being friends with them. If you can’t do that, make subtle gestures to them such as, “Did you know when you breathe out of your nose it acts as a filter?” or “Has a fly ever landed in your constantly open mouth?”

Either way there is no doubt, this madness must be ended now, so take a stand and lets eradicate mouth breathing/mouth breathers!

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