Friday November 28th 2014

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Astrology: Even Dumber Than Religion

Astrology and the people that believe it are idiots. If it were in fact true in the pure theoretical means that proponents of it ascribe to, it would be a scientifically provable theory, period.

Guess what? Astrology writers are just random people who make shit up and publish it. Sorry to break your paradigm, but even though astrologists have some general guidelines they follow, IE stupid shit like “Virgos are hot headed but good lovers” and “Gemini’s are very organized and have free spirits,” it doesn’t change the fact that the daily horoscopes they write are made up fantasies.

At least religion is a tool that keeps otherwise useless people in society at bay and semi harmless when they are under the influence of said religion. Also traditional religion provides networks for families in order to socialize with. Astrology provides none of these things that religions provide. Astrology only provides brainless quacks with false senses of security or insecurity. In the case of insecurity they can “prepare” for the coming troubles they may encounter.

Have you ever read your horoscope? Look for the specific and targeted language use, astrology writers are very good at allowing their outcomes to work for either side of scenarios. Example, your horoscope says “Today may have some steep hills you have to climb.” You read it, and you say to yourself, “Fuck, now I’m going to have a bad day.” But oh shit, your day was good, so you reflect back and you think, “you know what? I did go over a big mountain today on the drive to work! OH MY GOD, this horoscope writer is AMAZING.”

You are a fucking idiot that belongs in Placerville or Auburn, CA. You should be sitting in your patchouli infested, incense infested, crystal having, dream catcher hanging, pile of sage on your dresser having, mystical sanctuary, AKA your room. I honestly can’t tell you how many girls I have met that think they are completely unique when their room bares all this same crap.

Suggestion to you astrology folks; Google: Agnosticism. it’s a brilliant idea in which humble people basically say “I don’t fucking know why I am here on earth, but I am open to anything.” Anyhow, let me wrap up this opinion article in an agnostic way; show me one, just one, scientific paper (scientific, meaning scientific, not from The Institute of Metaphysics and Sacred Geometry) on astrology and I’ll listen to you, otherwise, you suck (And if I die and find out astrology WAS right all along, I‘ll shake your hand and apologize).

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