My Bucket List*

*Complete Fiction

  • Do some gay shit (Just to see if it’s all the hype)
  • Do needle drugs, injecting into my penis vein
  • Get raped, and collect SSI
  • Walk in on two of my buddies’ dads butt-fucking
  • Run a meth lab using child labor
  • Buy a bride and resell her on the black market
  • Buy dirty bomb materials on the black market
  • Be a black market salesman
  • Be part of a federal investigation
  • Be a part of an electronic band that lip-syncs all their material
  • Own an Island
  • Make the island a sovereign nation
  • Do that shit where you kidnap people and let rich old men hunt them (on my island)
  • Have a near death experience, do DMT, see if DMT and NDE are similar
  • Do PCP, get naked and be on an episode of COPS
  • Visit North Korea and attempt to “go undercover”
  • Do that thing that other people can do on the internet, where they can stick their own penis head in their own asshole (tried, not long enough)
  • Bring things back to the way they were in 88’
  • Shut down the internet and make people get a fucking life

To Be Continued…

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