My Bucket List*

*Complete Fiction

• Do some gay shit (Just to see if it’s all the hype)

• Do needle drugs, injecting into my penis vein

• Get raped, and collect SSI

• Walk in on two of my buddies’ dads butt-fucking

• Run a meth lab using child labor

• Buy a bride and resell her on the black market

• Buy dirty bomb materials on the black market

• Be a black market salesman

• Be part of a federal investigation

• Be a part of an electronic band that lip-syncs all their material

• Own an Island

• Make the island a sovereign nation

• Do that shit where you kidnap people and let rich old men hunt them (on my island)

• Have a near death experience, do DMT, see if DMT and NDE are similar

• Do PCP, get naked and be on an episode of COPS

• Visit North Korea and attempt to “go undercover”

• Do that thing that other people can do on the internet, where they can stick their own penis head in their own asshole (tried, not long enough)

• Bring things back to the way they were in 88’

• Shut down the internet and make people get a fucking life

To Be Continued…